5.29.2005

Your Daily Allowance of Trans Fat

Me: Consumer Relations, this is [my real name], how may I help you?
Caller: Hi! I work for one of the top Wall Street firms and I think one of my coworkers may have just broken some sort of world record.
Me: Okay?
Caller: My friend, my coworker, just ate, in front of about 40 witnesses three of your largest hamdburgers, a large chocolate shake and your largest side.
Me: ...(unsure exactly what to say).
Caller: Could you send him some sort of congratulatory letter?
Me: (wondering how 40 people could actually be paid top dollar to watch someone kill themselves via trans fat.)
Caller: Just something we could frame and hang in the office? Something maybe saying congratulations on your accomplishment, thank you for your patronage?
Me: I'm not really sure that's something we can do, but I can certainly look into that if you'll provide your name and address.
Caller: Well, it was my coworker, but I'll give you both our names ...(supplies info)... by the way this guy is a Columbia educated man and he was not under the influence of anything, and he's still alive!! I mean that's at least 4,000 calories!
Me: Well, like I said, thank you for calling and I will definently look into that for you.
Caller: Just something we could hang on the wall.
Me: I will certainly look into it for you.
Caller: I mean it would just be great advertisement for you guys. So we could continue to eat at your stores.
Me: Well, sir, I will absolutely look into that for you. Thank you so much for calling.
*click*

5 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

So you're going to give him a cerificate, right? :D Do you happen to have any of those diploma making software programs readily available to you? :D

9:47 AM  
Blogger miker said...

all I can say is wow!

9:32 PM  
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